Signing Out....
This is Me,
signing out...
Farewell dear Nkhoma. I don't know what to say.. What I feel right now is stronger and yet more delicate than anything I've ever felt before. To say good bye to all the people I love here, especially Olivia... It broke my heart. Completely. Mr. Lemon, Wilfred, Victor, Langton,Elisabeth... Gomez and Bertha (who spends the night here cause I am to devastated to sleep), Nyathipa.. Justice... Florence, Stella, Eliza, Rebecca, Dr. Morton, Dr. Nagy, Alex, Dickson, Daniel, Sam, Martha, Mrs Sedek, Beatrice, Gertrude.... Mrs Sambani, Mr Madetsa... Mercy,, Ndasisira... Jessie and James...
The Nagy kids, the Madetsa kids, the Ter Haar kids, the Jones kids...
Spot and sprut....I have sprut here now, I don't know where Spot is.. I pet Sprut and bury my nose in her fur.. Just smelling her.. These dogs, especially Spot, has meant the world for me since I came here.. I just start crying again now just by thinking about him, so I better try to stop.. But it doesn't really matter, I've been Crying non stop all day long anyway....
The absolute worst part was to say good bye to Olivia.. She is the one person her in Malawi that I truly feel for the most, deep in my heart.. She is always so happy.. always smiling, no matter what problem she faces.. She always says “Aaa NO problem!” and laughs... But today, she took me in to my room and hugged me, and just started crying so heavily. Crying as if her heart was pouring out with the tears.. She don't speak english, but I told her how much she means to me, and I know that she understood me. If I could help her... If I could take away what is ruining her life by cutting off my own arm I would do that in a heart beat.. But I can't.. I can just promise to help her from a distance, send her money so she can buy good food and so her children can go to school...And Faines and Gracie.. Especially little Faines... She was born during my stay here, and I have seen her every day since. I know her every little move, her every little speciality.. the way she “curls” her nose when she laughs, the way she plumps with her lips... I know her every sound, and I know what it means.. It is as if she was my very own baby, and I just can't bear the thought of never see her grow up, start walking, talking... She will not remember me when she gets older, but I will think of her and of her mother everyday for always. I love them with all my heart.
Today has been a day of crying. Noone has been happy today. The security guard is crying outside the door. I am crying, Link is crying... Gomes is crying.. I will miss Gomes so much! We really became close friends these last months.. I really wish she can come to Norway or Sweden to visit me one day..
So, Tomorrow, the plane leaves. I've pealed the silver of my last ZAIN-unit.. I've eaten my last portion of Olivia-made Nzima. I've spent my last night under a mosquito net... Well, at least for this time.
I can really tell you, that this adventure has shaken my whole perception of life in it's foundation. Malawi, and particularly Olivia, has taught me that a human being has so much more strength inside than she can ever understand herself. And I am for ever grateful for that.
Next time I'll write, I'll be on Scandinavian soil. Hopefully closely held by Christian with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a dolly dimples pizza in front of me... I am done here now, I am ready and longing to go back to my own world...But, it is not easy leaving a world that effect you so much more than anyone can ever understand.
You have had a wonderful time in Malawi and you have made friends with lots of wonderful persons. Of course you are sad to leave them but you will stay in contact with them and visit them again..:)we think you have made a wonderful job down there but we are very happy that you are coming home...:)/Lots of love from your mother..:)
P.S. Remember these words: "WE ONLY PART TO MEET AGAIN" :)/Mamma
