Homesick... =(
Today, I just want to go home. It is sunday, everyone is in church (except for me and link, cause we are the only one's not christian here... And i HAVE been to church, many times.. But today I would just get even more depressed by going there.. and angry.. cause most of the time I just want to object to what the priest is saying, but of course i am not doing that... Anyway. Everyone is there. I have a BAD case of PMS. The rainy season have started, it is raining outside. It is grey and cold. We have no electricity, and no water. It is not fun. On a day like this, I just want to lay in my paretns sofa, drinkinng hot chocolate, eating some good sandwiches with parma ham and real cheese.. watching a nice movie... Or I would liek to go the a cinema to watch Harry Potter, the new movie... Oooo I want to see it sooo bad.... =(
And I am tired...Menatlly. I feel that I work so hard with the prject. I am in OPD every single day... encouragning people to do the triage properly... It works, but as soon as some new clinician starts working down there, it all collapses again. Cause no one informs the new staff about what we are doing. I tell them to, but noo... Aaaa!
Sometimes I have to be nice, sometimes i have to be firm... Some are doing a great job... But I always have to remind them... If i stop reminding them, they stop doing it. Like last week. every patient had the wrong colour. Infants with 40 degrees in fever came in with a green tag, and planned patients coming for a simple procedure, liek removing stitchesm came in with red tags. Me and Florence talked to the staff in reception, A LOT. We talked, argued, we bought fanta, had nice chats... It is a long way to go to get someone do their job properly here... Anyway, now they are doing it great again.. But that is what is so frustratinng. the CAN do it. They KNOW how to do it. So why do they just sometimes stop it, and just randomly pick a colour.... Aarrghh I don't know. I don't know...
And the worst thing is, that everyone is asking for money. It si so annoying I want to cry. I really DONT mind when it is really poor people, cause i understand them. But colleagues??? All the patient attendants have asked me.. And one lady, the forst time i spoke to her, she said "Hi! My name is ******. Are you my friend?"
"Ee. Yes.. Sure, I can be your friend" I answered. "Ok! Good! Then I will give you my account number" she said. I mean WTF????????
STOP IT!!!!!!!! AaAAAA!!!!! And two days ago, a patient attendant i really liked, started asking me for huge amounts of money. It makes me so sad. I had another malawian friend, a student girl. I spent some time with her, we were like friends, and sometimes I bought little thing for her. Like peanut butter och shampoo. And then she started to ask about more things adter A while. And i said t her that "No, i am sorry, I don't have money for those things now". And then, I didn't hear from her again. Now she never calls me, never invites me.
It is just so sad. You want too interact with the locals, and be firends wiht them and learn their culture.. But all they want is your money. I talked to the other "muzungus" here, and they aall agree. They all tried in the begining, but then considered it to be to difficult with the money issue.
Anyway, I have a shitty day. I want to go home to Christian and have a normal life. I miss him so much.... shit.
Maybe this is what they call culture shock...... =(
And I am tired...Menatlly. I feel that I work so hard with the prject. I am in OPD every single day... encouragning people to do the triage properly... It works, but as soon as some new clinician starts working down there, it all collapses again. Cause no one informs the new staff about what we are doing. I tell them to, but noo... Aaaa!
Sometimes I have to be nice, sometimes i have to be firm... Some are doing a great job... But I always have to remind them... If i stop reminding them, they stop doing it. Like last week. every patient had the wrong colour. Infants with 40 degrees in fever came in with a green tag, and planned patients coming for a simple procedure, liek removing stitchesm came in with red tags. Me and Florence talked to the staff in reception, A LOT. We talked, argued, we bought fanta, had nice chats... It is a long way to go to get someone do their job properly here... Anyway, now they are doing it great again.. But that is what is so frustratinng. the CAN do it. They KNOW how to do it. So why do they just sometimes stop it, and just randomly pick a colour.... Aarrghh I don't know. I don't know...
And the worst thing is, that everyone is asking for money. It si so annoying I want to cry. I really DONT mind when it is really poor people, cause i understand them. But colleagues??? All the patient attendants have asked me.. And one lady, the forst time i spoke to her, she said "Hi! My name is ******. Are you my friend?"
"Ee. Yes.. Sure, I can be your friend" I answered. "Ok! Good! Then I will give you my account number" she said. I mean WTF????????
STOP IT!!!!!!!! AaAAAA!!!!! And two days ago, a patient attendant i really liked, started asking me for huge amounts of money. It makes me so sad. I had another malawian friend, a student girl. I spent some time with her, we were like friends, and sometimes I bought little thing for her. Like peanut butter och shampoo. And then she started to ask about more things adter A while. And i said t her that "No, i am sorry, I don't have money for those things now". And then, I didn't hear from her again. Now she never calls me, never invites me.
It is just so sad. You want too interact with the locals, and be firends wiht them and learn their culture.. But all they want is your money. I talked to the other "muzungus" here, and they aall agree. They all tried in the begining, but then considered it to be to difficult with the money issue.
Anyway, I have a shitty day. I want to go home to Christian and have a normal life. I miss him so much.... shit.
Maybe this is what they call culture shock...... =(
Kommentarer
Postat av: Renée
Det låter tufft, Mygg men ge inte upp..:) snart är du hemma över jul och då skall vi se till att du mår finfint med god mat, specialgodis och allmän omvårdnad..:)..och vi kommer INTE att tigga om pengar..:):):) ..Det måste vara jobbigt med alla som vill ha pengar men man får förhärda sig och inte ge något till någon överhuvudtaget.Love you :):):)
Postat av: Katten
Kämpa på Maria!
Förstår att det är svårt att få in nya rutiner bland dem som är så vana vid att göra allt på ett speciellt sätt, och jag förstår om det känns hopplöst och att du ibland känner att ditt jobb inte gör så mycket skillnad, för de ändå kanske kommer strunta i det sen när du åkt därifrån.
Men du får fokusera på alla de små sakerna, och varje människa som du möter på sjukhuset som du faktiskt kan hjälpa! :)
Tycker du är grym!!
Kraaaaam
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